Over the course of writing this blog, i have tried to write about personal triumphs, I try to remind everyone that there is light at the end of the tunnel and to not give up. Recently i have found that it is much easier to tell you all about my victories as apposed to my hard times. that really isn't fair to you though, i shouldn't be painting this picture of myself as a completely happy and care free person becaused i am very far from such a thing. so today, im gonna go ahead and let you know that my life isn't always bright and sunny, and that sometimes, i find it very, very, very hard to maintain my Christian faith.
As a senior, my current goal is to find out where i will spend the next 4 years of my life studying and most likely playing soccer. After my most recent college visit i realized that college really is like being on my own. I won't have to tell my mother and father where i am going and i can pretty much do what ever my heart desires at the time. after returing from my visit, i began to think about what "College Lilly" would be like. Will i be able to find a group of people who don't party and don't do all the things i have spent the past two years over coming? What if i WANT to drink?
lately i've been bored with my new Christian lifestyle. it's hard knowing that i am no longer content with Young Life, an orginaization that has been with me the whole way through this journey. things have changed though, and i don't know if i want to be a part of that change. I am so thankful for Northern Kentucky Young Life. but i'm not sure that the Young Life i see now is the Young Life that i fell in love with two years ago. Maybe it's me thats changed, maybe I'm the problem. but then again, maybe not.
once again, i'm not really sure if you have taken any life changing lesson away from this. But i feel i owe it to you to show you that even though i write a lot about the awesome parts of being a Christian, it is still very hard. the saying "Nobody said it would be easy, they said it would be worth it" holds very true in the Christian faith. Becoming a Christian doesn't make your problems dissapear. But it does give you a source of strength to overcome those problems. I am human, i have a lot of issues. Wanting to drink and debating on whether i will finish my senior year as a part of Young Life or not are both huge choices i have to make. I have a lot of things to work on, but luckily i have a loving God to lead me.
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