284

sometimes things are assumed. sometimes in sports, opportunities are handed to you on a golden platter, and all you have to do is pick it up. My golden platter was right in front of me. all i had to do was run down a run way, and jump into a pit of sand. i had the speed, i had the strength, and yet some how, i screwed up. as one of the best long jumpers in the region, i was expected to jump over 16 feet. i was expected to score points and go to the state track meet. but i didn't. i fouled, all three jumps. Pissed is an understatement. and so is heart broken. i've never hated myself more, and i've never been so crushed because of something i did myself. i will never forget the amount of painful emotion that hit me after the last jump. i never want to feel that way again.

[284]
i will also never forget 284, my number for that track meet. i never thought a number could evoke such emotion out of me. i never thought that 3 digits could make me tear up. 284 wasn't supposed to be my last number in my high school track career. i should still be practicing for the state meet, but instead i am going home after school and thinking about what the team is doing. It isn't fair that i work my butt off all season, i push myself every day. i spent my spring break going to two track practices a day. it sucks... a lot.

i guess i'm posting this to vent. its hard to talk to anyone about it though. not many people understand the type of work that goes into what i do. to become one of the best long jumpers in the region in just one season i had to work twice as hard and much longer than anyone else. i always think of 1 Corinthians 9:24---Run in such a way as to win the prize--- is that not what i did? i ran, jumped, sprinted, and severely injured myself....all to win the prize. The world has proven itself to be very tough. Just when things seem in line, they fall apart. I never want to feel the pain i felt after my last jump, and i can assure you, that i will do everything in my power not to.