Being A Team Leader

as my senior track season is nearing its end, i am slowly beginning to get worn out. all season i have had severe shin splits, and the pressure is on like never before with the regional meet coming up. this is the time that i should be stepping up my game and wanted to be the absolute best i can be. however, the opposite seems to be happening. as one of the senior leaders, i am expected to keep everyone upbeat and positive. even when we are getting our butts kicked, i still have to be smiling. why me? why do i have to be the one who is never mad, upset, or worried that we are going to embarrass ourselves? its not fair. i take track very seriously, so yeah, i'm gonna be pretty damn pissed when i don't long jump as far as i should, or when i run a whole second slower. but ohhhhhhh no, Lilly can't be upset, Lilly has to be the one to guide the team through whatever hard-ship we are going through.
i guess you could say i'm a little sick of the whole situation. but every time i think about, like really think about it, i realize that i should be thankful. i should be thankful that my coach trusts and counts on me to be a leader. even after not doing track for two years, he has still trusted me to do 4 (the maximum amount that 1 athlete can do) events per meet. i'm very very blessed. i have been given talents and skills that not many people possess. i have been given the drive to push myself to new athletic heights, and push my team to do their best as well. i'm aggravated, pissed off, and physically worn out. but its my senior year, and i intend on qualifying for the state track meet. so i guess i should thank my coaches for putting the mentality of the whole team on my shoulders, with out that, i wouldn't be the athlete i am today.