Just another hurdle in my life...

Time to tell you guys a little bit more about me. My whole life i have always been into sports, i love watching them, playing them, and everything about them. Sports have always given me a sense of accomplishment. I've never been the best at soccer, but i've never been "bad" at it by any definition of the word. Recently though things have changed. Soccer, the thing that has been with me my whole life no longer makes me happy the way it  once did. I don't love the game as much as i used to and that translates into me letting my team down. Since the season has started i have found myself in some sort of depression. Until literally 10 minutes ago i didn't know what to do. I came up with excuses as to why i haven't been happy with my life. But then i thought, what have you been filling your life with, Lilly? Soccer, hatred, envy, and overall, not what i should be filling it with. It never really occurred to me just how many little things in life i need God for, including sports. Since my season has started i haven't read my bible more than once or twice, i haven't sat down and just talked with God at all, and i haven't let anyone help me by keeping a lot my feelings to myself, or just by being stubborn and not listening to the help they are giving me. (soccer has been going on for a little over 3 weeks now). Its so ridiculous to me. How could i let a sport, a game, come in the way of God, the one who will ALWAYS love me? I'm ashamed, but at the same time, i'm glad i have realized how much i need Him in my life.
       This is what i mean guys. I have come such a long way from this time last year, but my fight isn't over. This journey that i'm on has no end. Thats amazing though, no matter how old i get or how much i invest myself, i can always get closer to God! i can always let Him work through me and use me as a tool to show others His grace and glory. Whether it is being a Young Life leader, or a just friend, i want to share my love for God, as well as His love for all of us.

"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever.  Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air.  No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize." -1 Corinthians 9:24-27 

Words I Would Say

i would just like to start this by apologizing for the lack of posts. It's been a really busy time in the life of Lilly, but no worries. I am back and ready to keep the posts coming! this one is really simple. Music is an amazing thing. But not just because of the way it sounds or the cute lead singer, or any of that, its the words. I feel like people rarely actually listen to what a song says these days. But thats what i want you to do, read these lyrics. This song reminds me of something i will say to my future children or a friend who has lost their way. Don't forget yourself though, we could all use a reminder of how we should be living our lives.

These are the words i want to say to YOU


Three in the morning,
And I'm still awake,
So I picked up a pen and a page,
And I started writing,
Just what I'd say,
If we were face to face,
I'd tell you just what you mean to me,
I'd tell you these simple truths,

Be strong in the Lord and,
Never give up hope,
You're going to do great things,
I already know,
God's got His hand on you so,
Don't live life in fear,
Forgive and forget,
But don't forget why you're here,
Take your time and pray,
These are the words I would say,

Last time we spoke,
You said you were hurting,
And I felt your pain in my heart,
I want to tell you,
That I keep on praying,
Love will find you where you are,
I know cause I've already been there,
So please hear these simple truths,

Be strong in the Lord and,
Never give up hope,
You're going to do great things,
I already know,
God's got His hand on you so,
Don't live life in fear,
Forgive and forget,
But don't forget why you're here,
Take your time and pray,
These are the words I would say,

From one simple life to another,
I will say,
Come find peace in the Father,

Be strong in the Lord and,
Never give up hope,
You're going to do great things,
I already know,
God's got His hand on you so,
Don't live life in fear,
Forgive and forget,
But don't forget why you're here,
Take your time and pray,
Thank God for each day,
His love will find a way,
These are the words I would say 

Expectations

according to society, we can only make our way up in the world by meeting certain standards. For girls its beauty, brains, and (rarely) personality. For guys its how much weight they can lift, or how much money they can make for their families. Regardless of what it is, we are expected to meet these standards that only result in more material things. Most recently i have been dealing with the expectations of my parents/other adult figures in my life. Being told that you aren't good enough constantly eventually leads to you believing such a ridiculous accusation. But in all honesty, no matter how many times my mother tells me i'm not good enough, or however many times my siblings tell me i need to grow up, there's always that one pair of eyes that sees me as perfect. God. I've spent my whole life living for the approval of others and living my life on egg shells, when in reality, the way i am is exactly the way the Lord intended for me to be. Unconditional love is something that i more than likely will never feel from anyone on this earth, but luckily i have a Father who DOES love me unconditionally and looks down from up above and reminds me that i'm not going through these hard times alone.

Dear high-schoolers,
Dont let this world bring you down. we are going through some of the most influential years of our lives. Who cares if the people you go to school with don't approve of you, you only have 4 years with them, they aren't worth your worries. Don't let all the negativity surrounding you sink in. You're too perfect. Let God take control.
                                                                                                                                  -Lilly :)

One of my many blessings

             so it has come to my attention that my friends actually read this...i was completely unaware but i suppose its good that they do? as long as they are reading this i might as well flatter them a bit. i will probably say this a million times, but i am surrounded by the most amazing group of people imaginable. i really can't put it into words. the Lord has truly out done himself. from the friends that have stuck with me this whole time to the ones who are just coming into my life recently, all of them are blessings from above. if you were to tell me a year ago that one of my best friends would be a Young Life leader [and you know who you are... :)] i probably would have slapped you and told you to wash your mouth out with soap. (maybe a little over dramatic) one of the things i have learned from this journey i am on is to notice every blessing from above. Clearly i am not perfect, there are times when emotions such as envy take over and i forget what the Lord has given me. But i always find my way back. I hope you think about this. Next time you see your best friend, or even any friend, think about how much they mean to you and thank the Lord for bringing them into your life. Once you begin to notice the different blessings in your life, you will look at the world as a brighter place, and you'll be part of that light.

Testing my Faith

Growing up in a Catholic household and going to a Catholic school, church (and really anything related to God) was typically the low point of my day. All through elementary school i learned and memorized all the details and facts of the bible. i new just about every tale told, but something was missing. i knew about Jesus, but i didn't know him. he wasn't a real figure in my life. he was just another class that i had to sit through every day. As middle school progressed i came to the conclusion that the reason i didn't feel the Lord's love, was simply because he didn't exist. I know, i was ignorant and slightly stupid. But to me it was fact, God wasn't real. The next 4-5 years of my life could very well have been the most empty times of my life. the spot in my heart that was made for God was filled with drinking and partying. One summer day (2011) i broke down. i needed a friend. i needed someone to love me for the mess that i was. i knew that no human could possibly do that. after a lot of tears a a phone call to a Young Life leader, i decided to attend Young Life summer camp. At this time in my life i had a very deep hatred for anything Young Life, so the fact that I, "Lilly, hater of all things God related", was going to Young Life camp was a huge deal. i will explain what happened at camp in a later post, because it deserves its own to be honest.

In the Letter To James it states that
-testing of your faith brings you closer to the Lord
-you need to ask God for the wisdom you lack
-those who doubt will not be granted
-God cannot be tempted
-temptation stems from your own desires

i am living proof of all of these. I live my life for God. please check in soon for the continuation of my journey. Please feel free to contact my with any questions or really anything you feel i may be able to help you with  your own journey to the Lord.

as some of you already know, My good friend Abby was in a very devastating car wreck. she is currently expected to make a full recovery, but still needs prayers. I don't know how to explain the joy she brings to the world. when she walks into a room, the whole place just lights up. when i first came to the high school i attend (i went to a catholic school all my life and made the switch to public for high school), she was one of the first people who offered to hang out with me and introduce me to many of my current best friends. Even though most of you don't know her, i ask that you take a second out of your day just to say a quick prayer for her recovery. thank you all so much. #prayformarsh

http://www.iamsecond.com/

When i wear my "I Am Second" shirt and bracelet, i typically get a million and one questions about its meaning and typically one or two not-so-flattering looks. I Am Second is simply the idea of putting the Lord first in your life. i recommend that you check out the site and watch some of the videos they have posted. The videos often deal with specific issues, and give you a chance to hear from people who are making the same journey as me. Some of the stories really are mind-blowing.