one simple comment

this week in my english class, i was given a compliment that would make me feel better about myself than i have in a long time. while we were "working" in small groups, my group got to talking about college. we all said what we wanted to do with our lives and talked about what college we wanted to go to. i began talking about how i want to major in history and minor in youth ministry. i told them how i didn't know if i wanted to teach or search for a job in a museum or work as an archivist. i then also told them how i was hesitant to search for a job as an archivist because i felt it would take me away from where i live now, which is also where i would like to live, as well as become a Young Life leader, after college. just talking about it made me stressed. then, one of the girls in my group looked at me with a smile and said "Lilly, i have a feeling that no matter what you do with your life, your going to be great at it"

wow...did i really just hear that? did someone just say that to me? i'm still shocked. i am the type of person who does not always see themselves the way others see me. i tend to shy away from compliments and have never been fully confident in myself, whether in be intellectually or physically. but to hear something like that, face to face, it means a lot. it makes me smile just thinking about it.

if there is anything that senior year has taught me thus far, its that i am going to be okay. no matter what i do with my life, i am going to glorify God and live for him. i'm not going to lie, im nervous about leaving my home to go to a school that is completely foreign to me. But i trust in the Lord and his path for me. although my lack of confidence still hinders, i know that He gives me strength and will be by my side.

Life As A Teen

Well it's my senior year now, and i was not at all prepared for what i was up against. Senior year is supposed to be fun and care free, because lets be honest, we're practically already in college ;) But i have found that these expectations of senior year are far from the truth. Between reseach papers and social life (or lack of), senior year has been quite the curve ball. My mother and i recently got in an argument about my stress level. According to her i really have no reason to be stressed, i have easy classes and peer pressure apparently isn't hard for me because i am a Christian. That, my friends, is false. At my school, it realy doesnt matter what classes you take, because every senior has to complete an outrageous research paper, and its no easy task. 10 source cards, then 100 note cards on infornation gathered from those sources..it sucks. But i would rather do 50 of these research projects than deal with the pressure to drink and party. Regarless of who you are, christian or not, the pressure to go out and party is so strong. as someone who has lived the party life style, i can say that it is something that, at times, sounds so appealing. its hard being a teenager at times like these. either you go out and drink, and know that you are not living the life you were mant to live, or you dont and get ridiculed by other teens for not being fun. Being a Christian does not fix all my problems, but i now know that i have the strength to over come the problems put in front of me.

Adults, dont underestimate the amount of stress high schoolers go through. just because we dont have to deal with your crappy boss or annoying co-worker doesnt mean we walk through out days without a problem. High school is tough, and it takes a lot to stand up to all the pressure presented to us.

Teens, you arent the only one dealing with these pressures. i understand how hard it is. But i promise you that the strugges you go though now will make you stonger than ever. you truly can do anything through Christ who strengthens you.

Making the most of my down time

Growing up in a Catholic school, I began to despise every moment I had to be in church or religion class. But now, every free second I have I am using to work at my relationship with Christ. There are so many moments throughout the day that I am just sitting there doing nothing productive. For example, right now I am in my english class with nothing to do because I finished my work in 15 minutes. Instead of laying my head down or talking, I am typing up this post. I dont want to waste any more time in my life with silly things. I used to listen to my Mac Miller station on Pandora while mowing the lawn. Now I listen to christian stations and worship while mowing, that's two hours with the Lord that I didn't have before. I can't think of anything I would rather do than praise Lord.

I would encourage everyone reading this to do what I've done. Make the most of your day. Don't waste time doing something without purpose when you could be doing the most purposeful task in the world, worshiping our God.

First Step To My Future

as you may have seen in my previous post, i am completely in love with the sport of soccer. a lot of time has passed but i wanted to let you know that my senior soccer season has officially ended. After losing in the first round of the regional tournament, we were sent home with tears in our eyes, well not all of us. Of the 7 seniors on my team, i am the only one who did not cry. Why? My season has been done for over a month.
while playing in a district game i jumped into the air for a head ball, and landed on the outside of my right foot. (i heard a crack...ew) Nothing was broken but i did end up with a high ankle sprain, ending my senior soccer season a month early. when i hit the ground and heard my ligaments crack, i prayed. i prayed harder than i have my whole life. While lying on a soccer field, crying my eyes out, and trying to contain myself, i prayed to the good Lord that i would be able to play again. i prayed that this was not the end of my soccer career. when i made it to the doctor in crutches the next day, he told me that i was done for the season. Heart broken. That is the only way i can describe how i felt. i was in disbelief, why would this happen? i was having the best season of my life. after realizing that i was done with soccer, i committed to becoming a young life leader, and that was the end of that, or so i thought :)
two weeks after the injury i received an e mail from the small college that i had been speaking to about playing for. they were aware of the injury and i was eager to hear what they said. they told me they wanted me on their team "regardless of injury". they offered me a scholarship. the Lord delivered!!!!! My prayers were answered and i am so thankful. i cannot explain how much this means to me. To be able to play real soccer again is a dream that i had kissed good bye. God is so so so good. He has given me a second chance, and there is no way i could thank Him enough.

i would like to apologize to anyone reading this who is not happy that i will be leaving home. especially my YL leaders. i love you all like family, and i don't mean to offend you with my enthusiasm about leaving, however this is a dream come true and i hope you understand that. you all have been amazing to me and i love each of you.

My dreams seem to be working out, but to anyone who reads this, please remember; the Lord knows what's best for you. i once heard a quote that said, "Sometimes Gods greatest gifts are unanswered prayers" i am a strong believer in that. Trust in the Lord with all your heard, and know that He loves you, and is going to do what is best for you.

Just another hurdle in my life...

Time to tell you guys a little bit more about me. My whole life i have always been into sports, i love watching them, playing them, and everything about them. Sports have always given me a sense of accomplishment. I've never been the best at soccer, but i've never been "bad" at it by any definition of the word. Recently though things have changed. Soccer, the thing that has been with me my whole life no longer makes me happy the way it  once did. I don't love the game as much as i used to and that translates into me letting my team down. Since the season has started i have found myself in some sort of depression. Until literally 10 minutes ago i didn't know what to do. I came up with excuses as to why i haven't been happy with my life. But then i thought, what have you been filling your life with, Lilly? Soccer, hatred, envy, and overall, not what i should be filling it with. It never really occurred to me just how many little things in life i need God for, including sports. Since my season has started i haven't read my bible more than once or twice, i haven't sat down and just talked with God at all, and i haven't let anyone help me by keeping a lot my feelings to myself, or just by being stubborn and not listening to the help they are giving me. (soccer has been going on for a little over 3 weeks now). Its so ridiculous to me. How could i let a sport, a game, come in the way of God, the one who will ALWAYS love me? I'm ashamed, but at the same time, i'm glad i have realized how much i need Him in my life.
       This is what i mean guys. I have come such a long way from this time last year, but my fight isn't over. This journey that i'm on has no end. Thats amazing though, no matter how old i get or how much i invest myself, i can always get closer to God! i can always let Him work through me and use me as a tool to show others His grace and glory. Whether it is being a Young Life leader, or a just friend, i want to share my love for God, as well as His love for all of us.

"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever.  Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air.  No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize." -1 Corinthians 9:24-27 

Words I Would Say

i would just like to start this by apologizing for the lack of posts. It's been a really busy time in the life of Lilly, but no worries. I am back and ready to keep the posts coming! this one is really simple. Music is an amazing thing. But not just because of the way it sounds or the cute lead singer, or any of that, its the words. I feel like people rarely actually listen to what a song says these days. But thats what i want you to do, read these lyrics. This song reminds me of something i will say to my future children or a friend who has lost their way. Don't forget yourself though, we could all use a reminder of how we should be living our lives.

These are the words i want to say to YOU


Three in the morning,
And I'm still awake,
So I picked up a pen and a page,
And I started writing,
Just what I'd say,
If we were face to face,
I'd tell you just what you mean to me,
I'd tell you these simple truths,

Be strong in the Lord and,
Never give up hope,
You're going to do great things,
I already know,
God's got His hand on you so,
Don't live life in fear,
Forgive and forget,
But don't forget why you're here,
Take your time and pray,
These are the words I would say,

Last time we spoke,
You said you were hurting,
And I felt your pain in my heart,
I want to tell you,
That I keep on praying,
Love will find you where you are,
I know cause I've already been there,
So please hear these simple truths,

Be strong in the Lord and,
Never give up hope,
You're going to do great things,
I already know,
God's got His hand on you so,
Don't live life in fear,
Forgive and forget,
But don't forget why you're here,
Take your time and pray,
These are the words I would say,

From one simple life to another,
I will say,
Come find peace in the Father,

Be strong in the Lord and,
Never give up hope,
You're going to do great things,
I already know,
God's got His hand on you so,
Don't live life in fear,
Forgive and forget,
But don't forget why you're here,
Take your time and pray,
Thank God for each day,
His love will find a way,
These are the words I would say 

Expectations

according to society, we can only make our way up in the world by meeting certain standards. For girls its beauty, brains, and (rarely) personality. For guys its how much weight they can lift, or how much money they can make for their families. Regardless of what it is, we are expected to meet these standards that only result in more material things. Most recently i have been dealing with the expectations of my parents/other adult figures in my life. Being told that you aren't good enough constantly eventually leads to you believing such a ridiculous accusation. But in all honesty, no matter how many times my mother tells me i'm not good enough, or however many times my siblings tell me i need to grow up, there's always that one pair of eyes that sees me as perfect. God. I've spent my whole life living for the approval of others and living my life on egg shells, when in reality, the way i am is exactly the way the Lord intended for me to be. Unconditional love is something that i more than likely will never feel from anyone on this earth, but luckily i have a Father who DOES love me unconditionally and looks down from up above and reminds me that i'm not going through these hard times alone.

Dear high-schoolers,
Dont let this world bring you down. we are going through some of the most influential years of our lives. Who cares if the people you go to school with don't approve of you, you only have 4 years with them, they aren't worth your worries. Don't let all the negativity surrounding you sink in. You're too perfect. Let God take control.
                                                                                                                                  -Lilly :)